I consider myself to be relatively intelligent. Or at least I did before today........I decided that I would spend one to two times a week with 2 of my grandchildren, Julie and Gauge. She is 2 and he is 3. At the start of this day things were going well when I decided a quick ride to Target was in order. This was mistake number one!

I had to use the bathroom before the circus could begin and took Gauge into the bathroom with me, Julie stayed out in the cart with her mother. I thought that he could just stand there while I went pee and tried to make a game out of his guarding the door for me. I pulled my pants down to pee and he, with his OUTDOOR voice began to openly discuss the size of grandmas bottom!

Everyone was at Target today and everyone had to pee! "Gauge Reid McIntyre, that's not nice to say", I was horrified when he looked me straight in the eye and said, "It's not a lie Grammies". Then he said " Grammies, did you just fart? that's not nice to do at the store, you do that at home, not at Target". No one was leaving the bathroom, I was trapped with a three year old who could reason and dialogue beyond his years. I was so mortified I could pee, I couldn't stand to pull my pants up and I didn't think I would ever be able to come out of the bathroom stall.

I'm sitting there eye to eye with this child trying to figure out what to say to him that would help to guide the conversation in another direction, my bladder was about to burst and half of the town I live in was there at Target going to the bathroom. I was his hostage!!!

He got restless waiting for me to pee so he started to look around in the stall that we were ion. As he bent over his gaze went to my privates and stood up quickly and made the worst announcement yet, "Gramme, you have hair all over your GINA". I was done. I decided to stand up, pull up my pants and take him out to Auntie. Then he informed me that "if you don't wipe up your gonna get poop on you shorts, gramme, who's going to wipe your bottom"?

There is laughter occurring outside the stall in the Target bathroom. No one is leaving because There is a three year old comedian who has a 50 year old grandmother trapped in the stall. I started to laugh too. It was all I could do to get my pants back down so that finally I could pee. I sat there eye to eye with Gauge Reid McIntyre now fully prepared to face the audience that waited on the other side of the swinging door.

The second time I pulled my pants up I done everything right. I peed, I "wiped up", and then I pull up my pants. When I opened the stall door there were 4 other women standing there and at eye contact we were all laughing hysterically. My grandson stood there for once in silence as he had no idea what the laughter was about. An older women with white hair bent over, touched his face and said, " young man, you just made my day"!

We left the bathroom hand in hand and I just a little worn from the experience was taken back to the very moment the he entered into the world as I know it. I held that child in my arms and thanked God for Him, knowing all the while that I had done nothing in my life that was worthy of such a gift as Gauge Reid McIntyre. Then I had to thank Him again for this child. For the moments when life allows us the time to escape to the simplistic world of a three year old. The factual and honest world of a three year old.